Why the obsession with “achieving it” is exactly what stops it, and why the fear of “making a mess” is pleasure’s main enemy.
In my consultation room, many people arrive with the same question, sometimes whispered shyly:
“Carles, I’ve heard about Squirting… but it has never happened to me. Do you think I can’t do it? Is there something wrong with me? Am I blocked?”
My answer is always the same: Your body works perfectly.
The problem isn’t your anatomy. The problem is the fear of losing control.
We live in an era where the Squirt seems to have become the new “trophy” to win. It seems that if you don’t expel liquid, you haven’t enjoyed it enough. And that is false.
But it is true that Squirting is a brutal experience of liberation, and that the vast majority of bodies with a vulva are physically capable of it.
So… why is it so hard to make it happen?
1. The main barrier: “I’m going to pee!”
Here lies the secret that no one tells you.
The physical sensation right before a Squirt is identical to the urgent need to urinate.
When arousal is very high and the G-zone swells, it presses against the urethra. Your brain receives the alarm signal: “Watch out! We’re going to pee ourselves!”
The automatic and unconscious reaction of anyone raised to be “contained” (especially those socialized as women) is to close up. You contract your pelvic floor to avoid making a mess.
And at that precise moment, you block the Squirt.
Because Squirting doesn’t ask for strength; it asks for surrender. For it to come out, you have to perform the greatest act of faith: push out when your head tells you to close up.
2. Why does it almost never happen in the first session?
My experience as a therapist has taught me a very clear pattern: it is very difficult to have a Squirt on the first visit.
Why? Because to overcome the fear of “peeing” or making a mess, you need blind trust in the space and the therapist.
In the first session, your nervous system is still scanning to see if the place is safe.
But, what happens in the second or third session?
You already know me. You know the table is protected. You know that if liquid comes out, I (Carles) won’t be scared or judge you, but will celebrate it as a success of relaxation.
When the mind understands it is in a safe haven, the pelvis truly relaxes. And that is when it happens.
3. The goal isn’t to get wet, it’s to feel
If you come to the massage thinking “Today I have to release liquid,” it probably won’t come out. Demand creates tension in the muscles.
My job as a therapist isn’t to mechanically “provoke” a Squirt.
My job is to create a space so safe, so free of judgment, and so welcoming, that your body feels free to express whatever it wants.
Conclusion
If you have never experienced it, you are not “weird.” Simply put, perhaps you haven’t had the environment or the calm needed to dare to “make a mess.”
We don’t seek records. We seek for you to lose the fear of letting go of control.
And when you let go of control… often, the rest follows naturally.
