What male alexithymia is and why conscious massage is the shortest path for a man who doesn’t know how to express his feelings.
In our practice, we see it almost every week. A man lies down on the table, his body rigid as a stone, his breath shallow, and his shoulders up to his ears. When we ask how he is, the answer is usually silence or a short: “Fine, a bit tired, but fine.”
This is the great lie of the masculine. It’s not that they don’t want to tell the truth; it’s that, often, they don’t have the words for it. This has a name: Alexithymia.
The “emotional muzzle” of the masculine
Alexithymia is not a disease; it is a disconnection. For generations, men have been raised on toughness, performance, and stoicism. “Boys don’t cry,” “don’t make a scene,” “be strong.”
The result is a man who has learned to put on an emotional muzzle. Over time, this muzzle is no longer just mental; it becomes a physical armor. Emotions that are not allowed to be expressed (fear, sadness, loneliness) do not disappear: they become embedded in the muscles, the jaw, and the pelvis.
When words fail, the body is the path
The problem with alexithymia is that asking that man to “go to therapy and talk” can be a form of torture. If he doesn’t know how to identify what he feels, how is he going to explain it?
This is where Tantra Energy and Californian Massage become a revolutionary tool:
- No need to talk: On the table, we don’t interrogate you. We let touch ask the questions.
- The body doesn’t know how to lie: You can say you are “fine,” but if your tissue is contracted, it is telling us a story of resistance and stress.
- Feeling to identify: By moving energy and relaxing deep muscles, blocked emotions often emerge. Suddenly, a liberating cry or a nervous laugh appears. At that moment, the man no longer “thinks” the emotion; he FEELS it. And feeling it is the first step toward naming it.
Our accompaniment (Carles & Angela)
In this process, our duality is key:
- Carles (The Structure): Offers a space where the man does not feel judged or questioned. His firm masculine presence says: “I hold you; it is safe here to stop being the pillar that carries everything.”
- Angela (The Guide): Brings the feminine intuition that detects emotional blockages before he even knows they are there. She helps him drop from the head to the heart with a gentleness that the masculine has often never allowed himself to receive.
An invitation for men (and those who love them)
If you are a man and feel that your “armor” weighs too much, or if you find it hard to explain what’s happening even though you know you’re not quite right, give yourself the chance to not have to use words.
Allow our hands to help your body undo the knots that the head doesn’t know how to untie. You don’t have to be strong in our room. You just have to be you.
Carles & Angela
