An honest reflection on sexual energy, different relationship models, and why Presence is the only real filter.
This year 2025, our path of transformation took us to Mexico. It was a journey inward, accompanied by Jenny, a master expert in energy cleansing who acted as a mirror for us and shook our foundations.
There is something wonderful about having teachers: you don’t always have to agree with everything they say to learn from them. Sometimes, the greatest learning comes precisely when a statement doesn’t sit right with you and forces you to seek your own truth.
During one of the sessions, a topic came up that generates a lot of debate in the spiritual world:
“Sexual energy is very powerful. If you share it with people with whom you do not have a deep bond of love or commitment, you disperse yourself. Energetic exchange without romantic love drains you.”
This is a very widespread view: the idea that to protect your energy you must close your circle. We listened with respect, because it has a grain of truth: unconscious sexuality, indeed, drains.
But we, Carles & Angela, live and accompany sexuality from a broader perspective. And we feel it needs nuance.
1. It is not variety that drains us, it is absence
The great trap is believing that what protects your energy is the label of the relationship (stable partner, marriage, exclusivity).
The reality we have seen in our practice and in our lives is different:
Energy is not lost because you change partners. It is lost when you are not there.
You can make love to your lifelong partner, with textbook “romantic love,” but if while doing so you are thinking about work, if you are doing it out of obligation, or if you are disconnected from your body… that drains you. That is an act of consumption.
On the other hand, you can decide to explore other relationship models, have an ephemeral encounter, or share a playful space with someone new, and if in that instant there is Radical Presence, respect, and connection… that nourishes you.
Vital energy does not judge how long you have known the other person. Vital energy only answers one question: Are you present here and now?
2. Reclaiming Joy and Play (Without Guilt)
Often, it seems that on the path of personal growth, sexuality must always be solemn, transcendent, “tantric” in the rigid sense, or fused with falling in love to be valid.
We say: Not necessarily.
Joy is one of the highest vibrations that exist.
Play, curiosity, lightness, and the exploration of different bonds are also sacred.
If two people (or more) decide to share themselves from a place of freedom, without deceit, and with a heart open to enjoyment, they are not “tainting” their energy. They are moving it. They are celebrating it.
Sex can also be conscious fun. And having fun with a present soul is powerful medicine.
3. Intention is the Ultimate Filter
We return from Mexico with the lesson integrated, but passed through the filter of Carles & Angela.
The difference between an experience that leaves you empty and one that leaves you full is not who you were with, but where you came from:
- From Scarcity: If you seek external connections (whether in an open relationship, casual dates, or wherever) to fill a void, to run away from yourself, or to validate your ego… then yes, you will be drained.
- From Abundance: If you relate from abundance, wanting to share your excess energy and expand… then you will return home shining.
4. And what happens in the massage room? (Applying it to Tantra Energy)
This reflection is the basis of our work.
When you come for a Tantra Energy session with us, obviously there is no “romantic love” between therapist and client.
Does that mean the session will drain you? On the contrary.
Since we are in the role of serving and not consuming, our presence is 100% focused on you. There are no energy leaks.
It is the perfect example of how conscious intimacy, even without a sentimental bond, is an inexhaustible source of health and vitality.
Where there is Presence, there is always Light.
Don’t let anyone tell you that your relationship model or your way of living sexuality is “less spiritual” because it doesn’t fit the mold of traditional romantic love.
The only law is respect and awareness.
Whether with a lifelong partner or in a new encounter: put all your presence into it.
Because, in the end, where there is Presence, there is always Light.
Carles & Angela
